WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton spent several hours at the United States Capitol on Thursday compiling a mental list of people she will destroy at a later date, an aide to Clinton has confirmed.
Clinton gave no outward appearance of compiling such a list as she answered questions relating to her tenure as Secretary of State, the aide said, but was busy assembling the list nonetheless. “This is the kind of multitasking that she is very good at,” he said. “Believe me, the entire time she was talking, she was working very hard on that list.”
In response to reporters’ questions, the aide said that there was “no firm timetable” for Clinton to destroy the people on her list. “She will wait for the appropriate time,” the aide said, “and she will crush them.”
It’s my long teaching day, but can I just say that I’m actually looking forward to reading and hearing about people’s fear of Hillary Clinton over the next 9 years or so? At least, I hope she’ll be fearsome to many for at least 9 more years.