Reader Swamp Ape brought this to my attention earlier this week: Jon Wiener, a History professor at the University of California, Irvine, has a modest proposal to make our classrooms safe from gun violence. “The Arizona legislature is considering a proposal to authorize the carrying of weapons on campus by faculty members. The idea is simple—in case of trouble in the classroom, somebody needs to be able to blast away at problem students. But the question arises, should all faculty members be armed?”
Wiener thinks this might be dangerous–adjuncts are understandably disgruntled, the untenured regular faculty might be unstable, and “then there are the women, the minorities, and the gays—always complaining about ‘underrepresentation’ and ‘equity issues,’ always whining about pay differentials. Guns must be kept out of their hands, too.”
The lesson is clear: guns on campus should be restricted to the hands of the senior professors—the old white men. They know the importance of preserving order.
Fortunately the legislature in Arizona is dominated by old white men. I am confident that, when it comes to deciding which faculty should carry guns on campus, they will do the right thing.
Then again, arming the adjuncts, untenured, and under-represented faculty would be a speedy remedy for our grievances, wouldn’t it? Isn’t that why some folks call handguns peacemakers?
As I’ve written here before: I don’t want a gun, but I wouldn’t say no to a high-fashion Kevlar vest, since Colorado is right behind Arizona in its macho fetishization of shootouts at the Crazed Maniac Corral.
N.B.: The random pseudonymous commenters at The Nation appear to be just as dumb as those on every other national newspaper or magazine! Why do newspapers and periodicals bother with comments sections, when they just dumb down the whole enterprise? Like online journalism needs to further discredit itself. . . with comments sections like that, why not just stick to blogs?