Go read the Bittersweet Girl’s recent post called “A Valentine to my Book,” which reads more like a desperate note from a co-dependent than a love letter.
I’ve long thought that there is a disturbing crossover between the language of romance, sex, and commitment, and the academic job market. (Will he call? Did they like me? Am I worthy of love a job? What if they’re just stringing me along until the one they really love their top candidate says yes? What if they think I’m just flirting and trying to get a better offer from a rival department?) And then it gets really complicated when you already have a spouse job and you’re on the market for something better–enter the language of romantic betrayal (What if I get caught? I can’t resign until I know for sure there’s another job out there! But surely there’s someone else who will understand me better, who will understand my needs…) Contrary to the Bittersweet Girl, though, I have never, ever considered myself to be in an abusive or manipulative relationship with my scholarship.
How about you?