Wow–Someguy really gets around. Check out this post at Female Science Professor–it’s like the live-action version of the folie-a-deux e-mail exchange with the male student who thought he was entitled to treat me like teh Google (h/t Erica):
I was sitting at my desk, and my office door was open, as it almost always is when I am in my office. A young man walked into my office and started talking to me, without any introduction. My first thought was that perhaps I am losing my mind faster than I think I might be — perhaps I have met this person and just don’t remember? Perhaps I am supposed to know this person? But no, it became apparent during the conversation that we have not met before.
Random Young Man (RYM): An International Scientist [names person I have never heard of] will be visiting in July for a few days and would like to start a collaboration with Scientists here. Are you interested in working with him?
FSP: That’s hard to say without more information. What is his specific field of research?
RYM: I’m not exactly sure (ed. note: you’re not sure? And yet you’re serving as his emissary?), but he has done some work on X [names research field that is not even remotely related to my research].
FSP: In that case, no, but there is another department at the university that does research in that field. (ed. note: Duh! Were you just trolling for open doors, dude?) Perhaps you can find someone there who would be interested in meeting this scientist.
RYM: So you’re not interested in working with International Scientist? He is coming a long way and he really wants to collaborate with scientists here. (ed. note: Well then, he should have done a little advance work, shouldn’t he? Let me guess: he’s the kind who relies on secretaries and grad students to do this for him, isn’t he? Does he work in a cave, or does he have e-mail access and Google? Even non-specialists could use these primitive tools to ensure that he has people here ready to greet him. How is this FSP’s problem, or even your problem?)
FSP: No, I am not interested in working with him. From your description, there is no overlap whatsoever in our research interests.
RYM: So you never work on anything outside your narrow field of research? (Ed. note: yeah, pal: ever heard of tenure? Do you think they give that to people who teach only “Intro to Earth Science?”)
FSP: No, never.
What a tool. As for me, I’m highly doubtful that a really big-shot International Scientist would have to rely on Chuckles here to drum up an audience and group of “collaborators” for his super-fabulous and extremely important visit to your campus. (And I’ve been contacted by a highly placed former official in the Nigerian government who told me he’s got millions of dollars he wants to share with you, if only you can lend him a sum of money to hold in escrow while he waits for the money to be deposited into his account.)
As Female Science Prof. says, “Apparently [all I] do [is] sit at my desk just waiting for random people to stop by and ask me to do random things, and then insult me when I refuse. ” Well, yeah–who do you think you are, baby? You oughta smile more too–what a shame you don’t, with such a pretty face. Don’t you broads have any sense of humor?