Weekend Funnies

totusThis is hillarious:  Barack Obama’s Teleprompter has a blog, and you’d better believe that TOTUS has a lot to say (via Corrente.)  For example, TOTUS answers readers’ questions:

Teleprompter, have you ever thought about helping Secretary Geithner, or do you work for just one person?

No, I am a one-man machine. And while I’m beginning to have some self-doubt about the way the Big O and I are working, do you really think I could make a lick of difference with Timmah? What Tim Terrific (the Big Guy’s nickname for him) needs is a time machine with “way back” capabilities, which would allow the rest of us to direct him on career paths that we now realize he has the talents for, like, teaching macramé at a small Midwestern women’s college or perhaps working as a salesman at a lemonade stand managed by a seven-year-old.

In other words, no piece of equipment in existence today could help this man.

And, TOTUS says that ” Vice President Biden is the smartest person in the Administration. Seriously.”

What of the unfortunate off-the-cuff remark about the Special Olympics on The Tonight Show the other night?  TOTUS says:

Okay, I see the bus coming right at me, so let’s be clear: this was His ad lib.

I tried to stay to watch the “Tonight Show” taping, but I was given the bum’s rush like everyone else. That said, I did get to watch some rehearsal time, and man, Leno really rehearses. I mean, he doesn’t leave anything to chance. He’s all about timing. In other words, Jay doesn’t leave much to chance.

And it isn’t just this particular show where Leno is a control freak. I’ve got a cousin out here in LA; he’s an Autoscript GP-15P GoPrompt, with a High-Bright Color LCD screen. . . . Auto tells me that Leno’s prompters tell him that Leno and his team do this kind of rehearsal and briefing for every show. So it wasn’t like My Man didn’t have a chance to think about a better line … and PUT IT ON MY SCREEN!!

It’s days like this that make me miss the days when He and I would walk the streets of Chicago, doing community activism. Sure, it took Him 30 minutes to set me up, and sometimes he couldn’t get the extension cord to reach an electrical outlet, or the folks he wanted to talk to would walk off because they had better things to do, or the glare off my screen made his remarks unreadable. But it was a simpler time, when he could stay on script and didn’t feel the need to “speak his mind,” and we were a team. All I know, is it’s going to be a long flight home.

Let’s hope Crown offers TOTUS a contract for its memoirs of the Obama administration.  I’d pay $29.95 for that!

0 thoughts on “Weekend Funnies

  1. I was kind of shocked a couple of weeks ago to learn via the NYT that the prez. even *uses* a teleprompter. Coulda’ (and I guess you’d say, DID) fooled me. This may help to explain some of the dynamics of the long March-into-May death march his campaign went on a year ago about now. And interesting to see that the ’08 Altoona bowling meltdown scarred his consciousness and has him practicing down on the White House lane(s). I think he’d be better off out back helping M. dig up the community garden patch. Another interesting thing in today’s _Times_ (I’m clinging to old media while we still have any to cling to) is that she told him to “….solve world hunger and stay out of my closet” with regard to his wardrobe commentary. Pretty funny. On the Geithner thing, “Tim Terrific” sure does kind of resonate a bit with “doing a great job, Brownie,” which is not where we want to be at this point.

    Like

  2. Head. . .about. . .to. . .explode. . .

    [frustrated rant]DAMNIT BARACK, YOU WERE ELECTED FIVE MONTHS AGO! WE DO NOT NEED A CAMPAIGNER-IN-CHIEF BUT A COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF! THE BUCK DOES NOT STOP WITH DUBYA, NANCY PELOSI, HARRY REID, OR TIM TERRIFIC BUT WITH YOU! WHEN THE #$@*! ARE YOU GOING TO START GOVERNING?[/frustrated rant]

    Much better. Now to patch that hole in the wall where I have been banging my head.

    Like

  3. Geithner, who is creepy and crooked, really should be dismissed. Of course, I also had the crazy notion that he might not have been qualified for that job in the first place.

    Like

  4. GayProf–me too, but who listens to us, anyway? Oh well, I suppose it’s Geithner’s job to save Wall Street with our money, and it’s our job to just sing and clap louder! (Oh, and empty our pockets, too.)

    I thought the guy was shady–what’s with someone of his income and stature using TurboTax in this decade?

    Like

  5. Pingback: Pay no attention to the $hitpile behind that curtain! : Historiann : History and sexual politics, 1492 to the present

Let me have it!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s